“Happiness is not the absence of Negative Emotion…it is the Proper Control of Negative Emotion” – Allan Androft

We cannot control every event or situation that happens ‘to us’. One thing we can control is how we respond to events that occur. In our conscious response, we discover our power & our freedom.

Easier said that done, right?!

Life can be a roller coaster of emotions. One moment happy & joyful, the next, sadness or anger. And while it would be nice to be happy ALL the time, certain events or situations will trigger us with an emotional response. When negative emotions take over, we feel lost in a maze of doubt, uncertainty & fear.

The good news is we don’t have to be a slave to these negative emotions. Here are Four short & Powerful tips, to help you take control of your Happiness:

Tip#1 – Healthy Venting – Sometimes, it’s great to just go on a full rant. Blame, gossip, yell. However you do it, be sure to choose healthy venting. In other words, have your ‘vent session’ with someone you totally trust, who will not judge you, and will allow you to ‘be you’, in that moment. Sometimes, just saying these things out loud, offers us a fresh perspective. For some, venting might be some intense physical exercise, such as boxing, running or workout at the gym.

Tip#2 – Identify the Emotion – What emotion specifically are you feeling? Often, emotions get layered one on top of the other, making us feel overwhelmed and ‘stuck’ with this feeling. If you can clearly identify the emotion, you can begin to logically work with it, and release it. Is it anger, frustration, confusion, or something else? Simply label it, so that you can deal with it.

Tip#3 – Measure it on a scale from 1-10 – How significant is this emotion? 1 means it’s not very significant, a 10 means it’s quite serious. By measuring the intensity of our emotion, we begin to look at it logically, and can therefore begin to deal with it in an appropriate manner. What may have seemed HUGE initially, can significantly decrease with an appropriate measure of it’s importance.

Tip#4 – What is the Positive Learning – This tip is the most important. We cannot simply ‘delete’ negative emotion. We need to transform it. And the best way to transform a negative emotion is to get the learning from the event or situation. There are three key questions you can ask, to receive the positive learning:

• What COULD be GOOD about that event/situation
• What can I LEARN from that event
• What would I do DIFFERENTLY next time

List as many answers as possible to each question, by asking ‘what else’.

This technique is ideal for Coaching yourself, and is also perfect for coaching others (clients, subordinates, friends). You can use this technique to release past negative emotions, or ‘in the moment’ as you experience any kind of negativity, as it happens.

The additional bonus is that with each new learning you get, you are better equipped & more resilient, should these emotions try and surface in the future.

The quicker you can get back to your positive emotions of love, joy & appreciation, the more you are able to fully engage your Purpose.

Wishing you a Happy day…